Mahou Sensei Lina Inverse!
by Zdood
Summary: After an incident with some Mazoku, Lina and co. find themselves separated and in the Negima world! Now, Lina becomes a new teacher for Class 2A/3A along with Negi as she searches for her friends and deals with a whole new brand of weirdness...
1. Prologue! Get the Show on the Road!

Zdood presents:

Mahou Sensei Lina Inverse!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything 'cept mah OCs, dood.

AN: Welcome one and all to the first ever Negima x Slayers crossover! As I'm sure you've noticed if you've bothered to read the disclaimer, there are OCs in this fic- profiles at the bottom of the prologue. I know many out there may not like OCs much, but to you I say this: Don't knock 'em till ya try 'em, dood- you may find them to be pretty decent. Read the prologue first, THEN decide what you think of the fic and OCs therein.

…Oh yeah, and this takes place after TRY, but ignores Revolution and Evolution-R in Slayers time. In Negima time… that is a secret!... For now!

All that being said, ON WITH DA FIC, DOODZ!

**Prologue! Get the Show on the Road!**

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_The Glesnastya Ruins… an ancient place, once the home of a great sorcerer that everyone regarded as mad. Why? Because this sorcerer believed that there may be other worlds beyond the four created by the Lord of Nightmares, and sought to find them. This sorcerer disappeared one day, leaving only two large clusters of magical crystals behind. No one knew what happened to him. Some say he did find a way to other worlds, and that the crystals he left behind were a gate to these worlds. Others say that he was killed during his experiments, the crystals possibly being responsible. Out of fear, no one has ever tried to confirm either theory, for hundreds of years…._

…_Until now…._

1111 Glesnastya Ruins, Crystal Room 1111

Three figures walked into the ancient workplace of the mysterious sorcerer, the crystals in the room still giving off a faint glow despite the passage of time.

They were Mazoku, come believing in the theory of other worlds. Well… sort of, anyway.

The leader of the group, named Umbra, had come up with his own theory, actually. He believed that it was possible that the Flare Dragon God Cephied, being an extremely smart and powerful being, would have put that intelligence and power to good use in his battle with the Dark Lord Ruby-Eye Shabranigdo by sending some fragments of the Dark Lord to other worlds so as to prevent his resurrection at full, terrifying power. It was this theory that brought him and his two companions to this ruin.

Said companions, named Dezga and Kragoss, were an odd pair.

Dezga was humanoid, with red hair covering his face and hiding his eyes from view. He wore a short sleeved cloak of sorts and his nails were slightly longer than a human's. He was also monumentally lazy and spent half his time sleeping.

"(SNORE)"

…And considering that snore, he had probably sleepwalked his way into the room.

Kragoss, on the other hand, looked very lizard like. He was large, bulky, and muscular, though still with a somewhat humanoid, Hulk-ish build.

"Ooh, shiny things purty!"

…Oh yes, and he had about as much intelligence as a brick. Actually, scratch that- I really shouldn't be insulting the intelligence of bricks like that.

"…Kragoss, you see that mold on the wall?" Umbra asked, clearly annoyed.

"Kragoss see, boss!" Kragoss replied eagerly, completely oblivious to Umbra's annoyed tone.

"…Go and watch it grow."

"Yes, sir!" and the lunkhead lumbered over to the wall, sat down, and began his observation of the ever-interesting life cycle, filled with sex and explosions and evil plots, of mold. Ever-exciting… mold.

Umbra sighed exasperatedly. He'd rather have more reliable minions, but unfortunately, these buffoons were the only Mazoku he could find that were at least somewhat willing to believe his theory. All the others thought he was off his nut. And to hire these two… maybe they had a point.

…Oh yes, you still need to know what he looks like, right? Well, he had the appearance of a living, 3D shadow, odd as it sounds… and he didn't appear to have a mouth. His odd appearance, and many of his abilities, were all the result of some experiments he allowed a magical scientist to perform on him (he did so because he thought he could gain power from it). His personality post-mysterious experiment, however, remains unchanged. Namely, he's the only member of 'The Three Mazoku Stooges' who was even remotely serious about the plans he had.

Sighing, Umbra turned toward the sleeping Dezga.

"…" The shadowy Mazoku paused a moment.

"… (SNO-"

SMACK!

"GAH! Geez, I'm awake! What!"

"… Give me the magic compass."

"Yeah, yeah. That so wasn't worth waking up from my nap…" Dezga grumbled as he rummaged around in his cloak, before pulling out the compass in question.

"The compass that can locate whatever you (yawn) desire, stat…" Umbra took it from him.

"Now go activate the gates."

"Yeah, yeah… (yawn) I still say that thing is a rip-off of something though…" the sluggish Mazoku said, walking over to the pair of crystal clusters. (1)

"…Don't break the fourth wall. Now do as I command!" Umbra dramatically pointed at the crystals.

"On it…" Dezga continued to grumble as he reached the crystals. He placed a hand on one, and pumped some energy into it. It began to glow brighter, its nearby counterpart doing the same.

As the crystals powered up, Umbra pulled out a book (which he had 'borrowed' from an antique store) from somewhere within the shadowy void that made up his body. Opening it, he began to chant something in some ancient language that I doubt I could properly spell to save my life.

Dezga meanwhile, his job done, fell asleep again.

FLASH!

A portal appeared between the crystals, glowing with psychedelic rainbow energy.

Umbra, naturally, was delighted at this development.

"Hehehehe…HAHAHAHA! YES! IT WORKED! WHO'S THE INSANE ONE NOW, HUH! HAHAHAHAHAHA! WE'LL SEE WHAT YOU ALL THINK SOON, BITCHES!"

Calming down a bit from his high, he continued, "Now then…" and began chanting something else. The portal began to flip through several different images of alternate worlds, like channels being surfed on a TV. Umbra continued to flip through these until his compass began to react to the image shown.

The portal had stopped on an image of what appeared to be a sprawling city like place. An extremely large tree could be seen in the background. With his enhanced Mazoku vision, he thought he could make out a sign that read 'Mahora,' whatever that meant.

"So… a fragment of Ruby-Eye is hidden here…"

At this point, Dezga had woken up again and input his opinion, "…Why can't we (yawn) just find fragments on our own world?"

"Because that blasted _Lina Inverse_ would get in the way, of course!"

And suddenly…

"_FIREBALL_!"

"Huh?" Umbra queried, just as the fireball flew by and blew up the compass he held, and making him drop the book.

BOOM!

"GAH! DAMMIT!" '_Now finding that fragment will be an enormous pain in the ass! ARGH! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!'_ He turned to glare at the source… and Umbra's yellow eyes widened.

"Well speak of the (yawn) devil…" Dezga commented stoically.

It was none other than Lina Inverse and her friends.

"What do ya think you're doing?" Lina asked, smirking, hand held up, indicating that she had fired the _Fireball_.

"In the name of love and justice I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, will not allow your plans to come to fruition!... Whatever they are!" Cried, obviously, Amelia, striking a heroic pose.

"What she said!" Gourry added, sword at the ready.

"Can we get on with it?" Zelgadis asked, his sword also ready.

'_I doubt they'll let us leave…'_ Umbra thought. "DEZGA! KRAGOSS! _KILL THEM!_" He commanded, dramatically pointing toward the interlopers.

"Yeah, sure (yawn). This better be worth skipping my nap…" Dezga lazily complied, floating toward the group.

"KRAGOSS SMASH!" Yelled Kragoss, who had still been obediently watching the mold up until now. Shame Lina busted in too, as the 'Mold Show' was just getting to the best part- Miss Moldra had been about to find out why her ex-husband twice removed and thrice reincarnated had run off with her evil twin quarter sister. He leapt to attack. (2)

"Bring it on!" Cried Lina as she and her friends separated to battle the trio.

It was Amelia vs. Kragoss, Zel vs. Dezga, and Lina and Gourry vs. Umbra.

"KRAGOSS CRUSH BIG BOOB GIRL!" The lunkhead attempted to smash Amelia with his oversized fists, but she dodged and he only hit the ground.

SMASH!

…leaving a good deal of destruction.

'_Don't want to get hit by that_' thought Amelia. "_Elmekia Lance_!" she yelled, firing yellow energy arrows at Kragoss. They impacted on his skin, but did no real significant damage.

"Ha! Kragoss skin hard! No hurt by puny blast!"

"Alright, try this! _Vis Farank_!" Amelia's fists became covered in energy, and she leapt at Kragoss and slammed her fists onto the top of the lizard like Mazoku's head.

"PACIFIST CRUSH!"

SMACK!

Time seemed to freeze for a moment… and then,

"_OW!_" They both simultaneously yelled, stumbling away from each other.

"Owwie, owwie, owwie!" whined Amelia, her hands pulsing with pain.

"Boob girl fists HARD!" Kragoss complained as he rubbed his aching head.

Meanwhile, Zel had casted _Astral Vine_ on his sword, and was clashing with Dezga, who had elongated his nails into ridiculously sharp claws.

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

The two continued like this for a while, sword against claw, until Zel casted a _Blam Blazer_, firing a blue beam at Dezga, who leapt back.

BOOM!

As the blast hit the ground, it caused Dezga's hair to fly up, revealing that _he had no eyes_.

"…That's kind of creepy." Zel commented.

"If you're (yawn) curious…" Dezga lifted up his hands. "Here they are!" A single eye opened on the palm of each hand, firing lasers at Zel. He leapt back.

BOOM! BOOM!

And while all this other chaos was occurring, we of course have Lina, Gourry, and Umbra, who were at a standoff.

"…Annoying pests…" Umbra muttered. You could almost _feel_ the tick mark on his head.

"_Astral Vine_!" Lina casted it upon Gourry's sword.

Gourry then proceeded to slash, and Lina casted _Elmekia Lance_, at Umbra, who made no effort to dodge.

SLICE! BOOM!

Gourry cut him in half at the waist, and Lina's blasts hit the top half. Umbra's shadowy body splattered everywhere… and soon reformed.

"Ha… Haha… HAHAHAHAHA! Is that all you've got!" Umbra taunted the duo.

"What? But how?" Lina asked, surprised and irritated. "You're a Mazoku! You SHOULD be dead!"

"Normally yes, but you see, as a result of an experiment I allowed to be performed on me, ASTRAL SPELLS NO LONGER AFFECT ME! They are about as effective as a _flyswatter_ to a _dragon_!" Umbra taunted haughtily, "True, I still do have a weakness, but I do NOT intend to tell you what it is! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

His taunting didn't help Lina's mood much. Seeing the still-present portal behind Umbra, however, an idea struck her. She smirked… Umbra did NOT like the look in her eye.

"Wh-…What are you smirking about!"

"Lina, what are you doing?"

"Hehehehe… THIS, GOURRY! _FLARE LANCE_!" And she proceeded to blast the crystals, intending to completely ruin Umbra's plans.

"NOOOOO!" He cried.

BOOOOM!

A smokescreen covered the crystals… and soon cleared to reveal the crystals, which were seemingly fine. Umbra, however, held his breath….

…Bzt…

The portal crackled.

"Hm…?" He began, eyes slowly widening, "Oh, that can't be good…"

BZZZT! BZZZT! _BOOOOOOM!_

And the portal absolutely _exploded_ with energy, ceasing all fighting in the room immediately.

"Wh-What's going on!" Lina yelled, the energy from the portal swirling around everyone present and causing hair and capes to flap around frantically.

"Y… YOU _FOOLS!_ IMBECILES! YOU'VE TAMPERED WITH THE GATE!" An enormously _pissed off_ Umbra yelled.

At this point, the energy began to get sucked back in with tremendous force… and threatening to take everyone with it!

'_Damn…'_ Umbra thought, _'Part of the reason I wanted to find a fragment of Lord Ruby-Eye on another world was so INVERSE would not be able to interfere!... but now it seems she is going to get dragged along for the ride…'_ And as the portal sucked him in, his final thought was, '_Well, on the other hand… if my plans succeed, I'll get to have the satisfaction of leaving her and her friends stranded there once I find a way back… I could rid our world of the nuisance known as Lina Inverse FOREVER!... Perhaps this won't be so bad after all… ha, haha, HAHAHAHAHAHA!'_

And so he was sucked in. Dezga and Kragoss soon followed.

"(SNORE)" Apparently Dezga had fallen asleep again.

"Kragoss want Kragoss mommy!"

And after them, Lina and friends did what they could to not be dragged in, but ultimately failed.

"_OH, CRAAAAP!_" Lina yelled as the quartet soon found themselves in the void between worlds….

_Much later…._

1111 Mahora Academy, Unknown Location 1111

'_Wh-…Where am I?'_ Wondered Lina as she blearily opened her eyes, sitting up and looking around.

'_Whoa…'_ Was her only thought as she gazed upon the nearby city.

…

…

And so, the adventure begins….

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_Next time:_

_Konoemon: Hohoho… Now who are you, young lady?_

_Lina: The name's Lina Inverse, old man!... And where am I?_

_Lina: I'm Lina Inverse, and I'm your new PE instructor!_

_Eva: Damn, that Inverse is annoying… like HIM…._

_Chachazero: I dunno, I kinda like her!_

111111

And there's the prologue! So, what do ya think, doods?

…Oh, right, the Mazoku OC profiles I mentioned at the top. Here ya go!

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_Name: Umbra_

Appearance: Looks like a living, 3D shadow. Two horns jutting from the sides of his head, shoulders appear to be spiked, and he seems to be wearing a cloak/cape that tapers to a point. From this point extend several tendrils. Has glowing yellow eyes but no visible mouth. His appearance is the result of an experiment he allowed a magical scientist to perform on him in an attempt to gain power.

Personality: The most serious of his trio, though he has his quirks. Is a very large ham that likes to be dramatic, and tends to get annoyed easily.

Abilities: A secret! And as for the mysterious new weakness of his, you'll just have to wait and see! I will tell you this much, though… It's WAY worse than your average Mazoku's weakness to Astral spells.

_Name: Dezga_

Appearance: Humanoid. Face looks like a male version of Nodoka's with red hair. Has no eyes under the hair, though. His mouth is filled with sharp teeth. Wears a brown-ish sleeveless cloak. Hands look normal save for somewhat long nails.

Personality: Lazy and apathetic as hell. Tends to yawn in the middle of his sentences. Though lazy, he will complete any tasks given to him reliably... however, he will frequently complain about missing out on potential naps while doing so. Catchphrase: "This better be worth skipping my nap..."

Abilities: Can elongate his arms and fingers to an extent. He can also extend his claws/nails and make them absurdly sharp. A single eye is present on the palm of each of his hands, and it can fire energy blasts.

_Name: Kragoss_

Appearance: About 7ft tall, looks like a T-rex but with longer, bulkier, and ultimately much more useful arms. Wears purple ripped jeans, a la the Hulk. Body build is similar to the Hulk's as well.

Personality: About as smart as a brick. Actually, I probably shouldn't be insulting bricks like that, lol... Obediently follows orders, just like any good dumb muscle guy should.

Abilities: Has a massive amount of strength and his skin is very tough, weakening the effectiveness of Astral spells on him. Can also spit acid. Oddly enough, may be stronger than Umbra and Dezga, but is too stupid to realize this. Heck, he's not even aware that he has the ability to teleport like any Mazoku! (Yeah, I know, he's a dumbass lol)

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Anyways, yeah… there's the 'Three Mazoku Stooges.' Tell me what ya think of them as well as the chap, kay doods? Be sure to review and I'll see ya next time!

Notes:

(1) In all honesty, I took the whole 'magic compass' bit from Pirates of the Caribbean… which I also don't own.

(2) Don't be surprised if Kragoss gives off a very Hulk-like vibe during the course of the story. I doubt he's anywhere near as smart as the Hulk, though….


	2. A New World! And a New Teacher Too!

Disclaimer: Excuse me, but does anyone know any synonyms for 'I don't own anything except for my OCs'? Anyone?

AN: Welcome all, to the first actual episode/chapter of Mahou Sensei Lina Inverse! Lina's still settling in at the moment, so things might be a tad slow, but don't worry, the pace should pick up a bit soon enough. Enjoy, doods!

Well actually, before we get to the main chap, some responses to the reviews you guys made!

_lord Martiya_: In all honesty, I don't really have the bearer of the fragment completely planned out yet. However, I do know that it will be neither Negi nor Eva; it'll be someone else. As for who... THAT is a secret, dood!

_Dark Lord Sigma and MASmaster_: Glad ya like it! Sorry, but if you recall, when Cephied split Shabranigdo into seven pieces, he sealed them into humans... as such, the Kyoto Demon God is not a fragment. And as for who has it, that is a secret! However, fear not! I DO have OTHER plans for dear Demon God Sukuna, and it WILL make an appearance at some point after the Kyoto arc! The details of its appearance, however, are also a secret. Lina's first day on the job is actually next chap, as of this one she's still settling in, but Eva will be bugged quite a bit by our heroine, don't worry, dood.

_tojaka_: Glad ya liked the prologue! And don't worry, Lina will cause plenty of chaos that I'm sure you'll like, or your money back.

Well, now that that's over with, ON WITH THE FIC! Enjoy!

**Episode 1: A New World! And a New Teacher Too!**

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1111 Mahora Academy, Dean's Office 1111

Dean Konoemon Konoe's (rather large) head suddenly snapped up in surprise. A powerful magical energy signature had appeared out of literally _nowhere_ somewhere on campus.

"Dean Konoe!" The middle-aged teacher, Takamichi Takahata, burst into the office.

"Yes, I know Takamichi. Please go investigate."

"Yes, sir!" Takamichi left to do his job. As he did so, Konoemon leaned back in his seat and sighed.

'_I can only hope that no trouble comes of this…'_

… No trouble? YOU sir, obviously do not know Lina Inverse… oh wait, that's right… he doesn't. But the delicious irony will show up soon enough.

…You really shouldn't tempt fate, Dean….

11111 Lina's location 11111

Takamichi was moving as quickly as possible to investigate the anomaly. Imagine his surprise when he found what appeared to be a young girl wearing bizarre attire sleepily waking up from unconsciousness. Being something of a gentleman and a good person overall, he decided to help her out before questioning her. He landed by her.

"Are you all right, miss?"

Lina, feeling groggy, replied, "Yeah, I'm fine… just a little out of it." In her grogginess, she failed to really notice that she was talking to a fellow sorcerer.

Takamichi also realized that she likely wasn't in any condition to answer questions. So,

"I'll take you to the nurse, miss."

"T-Thanks…" Lina fell asleep again, resting, as Takamichi carried her off, bridal style. Before he left, though, he couldn't help but notice the strange energy that permeated throughout the area around where Lina had been. It felt… familiar….

It felt a lot like the energy used to travel between the Human World and Mundus Magicus, actually. The energy of inter-world travel.

'_Just who is this girl?'_ He thought.

1111 Nurse's Office 1111

Lina awoke once more, feeling much better. She sat up from the bed she was lying in, noticing she was in some sort of hospital like room. She remembered that man, whatever his name was, bringing her here. Seeing no one else in the room, she sighed and thought to herself for a moment, attempting to sort things out.

'_The last things I remember are those Mazoku and being dragged into that portal. I guess I'm in a different world, then… I'll have to see if I can still use my magic later. I wonder where Amelia, Gourry, and Zel are? In other rooms here?... That might be a problem with Zel. Hmmm…'_

Coming out of her thoughts, she looked down to see she was now in a hospital gown.

'… _Whoever changed me better have been female…'_ She mused, irritated.

Her previous thoughts were forgotten as a woman with a rather… ample… chest came into the room.

'_Oh god, she better not be anything like Naga…'_

"Oh, you're awake? Are you feeling better?"

"Um… yeah, I guess. Just a little confused." Lina couldn't help but feel inwardly relieved that no, this woman was not like the one who shall be referred to as 'goldfish poop.'

"Oh, that's good. My name is Shizuna."

"Uh… I'm Lina. Lina Inverse! And, um… was anyone nearby where you found me?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I'd thought maybe some friends of mine would've been around too." '_Damn. We must've gotten separated.'_

"My apologies, Lina-san."

"Don't worry about it."

"Well then Lina-san, would you mind if the Dean has a word with you?"

"No, not really." '_I need to find out more about this new world anyway.' _And so the two women left.

1111 Dean's Office 1111

Lina, still clad in hospital gown, gaped a bit. She really couldn't help herself. Seriously, she had never seen ANYONE with a head that big! Or eyebrows that huge! Sure, Prince Phil had fairly large eyebrows, but they were NOTHING compared to this old dude's! She idly wondered if he had a pet sheepdog. He certainly looked like one himself, with those brows covering his eyes.

Konoemon himself felt a little amused at Lina's gaping. He chuckled a bit, and said, in good humor, "Well Lina-san, whenever you're done staring…" (Shizuna told him Lina's name)

Lina shook her head. "Oh, uh sorry."

"Hohoho. Don't worry about it, it's not the first time. Getting to business, I am Konoemon Konoe, Dean of Mahora Academy, and I would like to talk with you for a little while."

"Nice to meet you, old man! So, well… what do you want to know?" She was a tad wary despite Konoemon's warmness.

Konoemon, on the other hand, chuckled good-naturedly at the nickname Lina had given him, and said, "Well, first, I would like to know where you are from. According to Takamichi, who brought you to the Nurse's Office, the energy in the area you appeared in had the feel of that which is used to travel to Mundus Magicus, or the Magic World-"

"Mundus whatnow?"

"Mundus Magicus, and, well, it's an alternate world to this one… and, according to what Takamichi said, the energy felt similar, but wasn't quite the same… I'm guessing that you yourself are from a different world then, Inverse-san?"

"Uh, yeah…" Lina said, surprised, eyes widened slightly.

"Interesting. Well, then…" the Dean interlocked his hands on his desk and leaned on them. "My next question is, how do you know our language?"

The room went silent for a moment. A crow could be heard cawing outside. (1)

"…Don't point out plot holes, old man. It's not important anyway."

"Oh, uh, well then… Would you perhaps tell me about your world, then?"

Lina's wariness of Konoemon had decreased some, so she, somewhat reluctantly, complied and explained about her world and situation.

_(Later…)_

"Hmmm… Intriguing…" Konoemon mused, leaning back. _'Lina-san's world really does sound quite fascinating, hohoho…'_ Leaning forward again, he asked,

"So, you say a type of demon known as a 'Mazoku' has some plans involving this world? What might they be?"

"Well, uh…" Lina replied a tad sheepishly, "I don't actually know what their plans are…"

"Oh?" Konoemon was on the confused side.

"Ya see old man, in all honesty, I was only in that general area because I wanted to see if I could find any treasure in those ruins. When I found out about the Mazoku there, I figured I might as well just deal with them while I was at it, seeing as those things are never good to have around… so yeah, I dunno what exactly they're up to. Yet."

"Hm… I see. Well, Lina-san, we'll be sure to keep an eye out for them, as well as those friends of yours."

"Thanks old man."

"Well, I'm done with my questions. Do you have any for me, Lina-san?"

"Well, I would like to know about this world…"

"Hohoho. Okay, Lina-san."

_(Later (again)…)_

Lina gaped again. She had figured out that this world was more advanced than hers earlier, but she didn't think it was THAT much advanced! And to think how bizarre and magical this academy was… wow.

"…That's a lot of information to take in…"

"Hohoho. You'll get used to it, Lina-san."

"Yeah, I guess old man… oh, wait, I just remembered. What am I gonna do while I'm here? And where am I going to live?"

Lina was really asking herself those questions more than she was asking Konoemon, but he decided to answer anyway.

"Well, Lina-san, you could work as a teacher here at Mahora."

"Huh?"

"That's right. The PE instructor has been wanting to retire for some time now, but we have been unable to find anyone to take his place so he could. I believe you may be fit for the job, Lina-san."

"Uh, thanks, but… I dunno…"

Konoemon got an odd feeling. This feeling caused him to say, "You'll be paid-"

"YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A NEW PE INSTRUCTOR!" Lina shouted enthusiastically.

The Dean jumped a little at the sudden raise in volume, before chuckling. "Alright then. You are now Lina-sensei, Lina-san!"

"Thanks."

"And as for where you can live… well, let's see…" '_There's the room Kagurazaka-kun and my granddaughter share, but I was thinking of putting Negi-kun there once he gets here in a few days…hmmm… Ah! I've got it!'_

"Lina-san, I believe you can stay with Evangeline."

"Who?"

"Oh, she's a student here… and is also a vampire."

"A vampire, huh?" _'I remember that one vampire Naga and I fought way back when… This 'Evangeline' better not be anything like he was, the weirdo…'_ (2)

"Eh, sure old man." She answered.

"Okay then, Lina-san." Konoemon pulled out some paper and began writing, "Just give her this note from me. She'll be rather grudging, but there's nothing she'll be able to do about it."

"Okay… but where does she live?"

"Oh, out in the woods in a cottage. You can't miss it."

"Alright. Thanks again old man!"

"No problem, Lina-san…Oh, and you'll keep the existence of magic in this world secret, yes?"

"Yeah, sure…" '_Even though I personally think it's kinda dumb. Seriously, back on MY world, there was none of this 'hide your magical abilities' crap!'_

1111 Elsewhere 1111

One Chao Lingshen suddenly got the odd feeling that she had another ally for her plans. Weird.

1111 Dean's Office 1111

"Oh, one more thing before I go, old man."

"Yes, Lina-san?"

"…Can you get me some new clothes?"

"Hohoho. Of course, Lina-san."

1111 Later, In the Forest 1111

Lina, now wearing a suit, was headed for Eva's cottage. Said suit was grey and worn rather casually, with no tie and the front unbuttoned a bit. A suitcase containing more clothes, including her old outfit, and also her class roster was at her side, and the Dean had even given her some money to go clothes shopping with later. (3)

As she made her way to her destination, though, she thought to herself, '_I still need to test out my magic…'_ She stopped in a clearing. _'White Magic shouldn't be a problem since it relies on the user's life force anyway, no worries there. Shamanistic magic may be possible, depending on what the nature spirits in this world are like. I think I'll test that one now…'_

Lina pointed her hand at a tree and shouted, "_Fireball!_" Sure enough, a blast of fire emerged from her hands and blew up the tree.

BOOM!

Lina smirked. '_I guess the spirits are similar enough.'_ Adopting a thoughtful look again, '_Now, as for Black Magic... I probably shouldn't test that stuff out here. Same goes for Chaos Magic.'_

Hey, Lina may not mind causing destruction, but she ain't stupid. After all, casting those big spells here would likely end badly. The Dean might be pissed off, for one. Sure, he was kind of silly, but Lina could still feel that he had a great amount of power. So yeah, Black and Chaos Magic testing is a no-no, for now.

So, she continued on her way.

1111 Eva's Cottage 1111

Lina knocked on the door to the quaint-looking little cottage. A girl with long green hair and wearing a maid outfit, Chachamaru, answered. Lina found herself wondering what the heck those antenna things on the girl's head were.

Chachamaru paused a moment. "…Yes?"

"Uh, hey. I'm Lina Inverse. The Dean sent me."

"I see. For what purpose, Lina-san?"

"I'm going to live here."

From inside the cottage came an irritated voice. "WHAT!" A little blonde girl came to the door.

'_Is that the vampire Evangeline? Great, she's a midget. Well, as long as she doesn't transform into a pitiful 'true form' like that other one…'_ Honestly, Lina found it a little hard to take the girl seriously, despite the power Lina could feel she held. It seemed diluted for some reason, but it was still there.

Speaking of Eva, she was not in a good mood. She scowled at Lina. "Damn old man…" she muttered. Lina, somewhat irritated at Eva's attitude, held out the note Konoemon gave her. Eva snatched it out of her hands and read it.

"Tch… Fine, whatever. Chachamaru, show Inverse to her room."

"Yes Mistress. Come, Lina-san."

"Yeah, sure…" She glared a little at Eva, Eva returning the look. '_Yeah, well f00k ya too, bitch.'_ Lina thought as she went to her room with Chachamaru. Eva went to her own room in the meantime, but not before shouting,

"You can live here, Inverse, but don't expect Chachamaru to clean up after you! And you're making your own food!"

Lina just grumbled under her breath.

"My apologies for Mistress' behavior, Lina-san." Said Chachamaru.

"Don't worry about it too much." Lina replied, still a little irritated.

The two women reached the room, which was hidden behind lots of dolls and other junk. Chachamaru moved it all out of the way.

"Thanks," Lina said as she entered her room. Chachamaru bowed in response and returned to her chores.

In the room, which was mostly bare save for a few shelves and a bed, Lina placed the suitcase with her clothes, old outfit, and class roster in it on the bed.

'_I'm going to have to spruce this place up later.'_ She thought, pulling out the class roster and reading it. Seeing both Chachamaru and Eva on the list, she smirked a bit. '_Well, if Eva pisses me off, I can always work her into the ground or something, heh.'_

Suddenly, a massive growl shook the room.

GROOOOOWL!

…It sounded a lot like a really pissed off dragon, quite frankly.

Eva and Chachamaru busted into Lina's room, Eva shouting, "WHAT THE HELL, INVERSE! DID YOU BRING A FRIGGIN PET _DRAGON_ WITH YOU!"

Lina just looked at the both of them sheepishly, "Uh, no… I'm just hungry."

SMACK!

That would be the sound of Eva face faulting. Chachamaru remained stoic, though she found it quite strange that Lina's stomach would make a sound like that.

"…Mistress, perhaps I should cook for Lina-san just this once?"

1111 Kitchen 1111

Eva and Lina were sitting at a table, Chachamaru standing near her mistress. Eva was gaping at how much food Lina had just eaten.

'_I…have never seen… absolutely ANYONE… EVER eat that much food! For God's sake, Inverse just ate an entire WEEK'S worth of food!'_

"…Can I have more?"

'_AND SHE STILL WANTS MORE?'_

And while Eva gaped, Chachamaru, on the other hand, found herself wondering about the illogic of the situation. In addition, according to her research, Lina had just broken several world records involving eating. Effortlessly, no less.

By now, Eva had switched from gaping to angry, "What the hell, Inverse! Do you have to eat so much freaking food!"

"If you must know, yes! A delicate maiden like myself needs all the food she can get!"

"DELICATE MAIDEN MY BLOODY ASS! How can you qualify as 'delicate'? You ate all that food like a wild animal that had been starving for weeks!"

"Get off my back, Eva! You're a vampire anyway, right? You drink BLOOD to survive! And I'm sure Chachamaru can just eat elsewhere!"

"Actually, Lina-san, I do not require susten-"

"SO WHAT! So I'm a vampire, sure!" '_Which I suppose I shouldn't be overly surprised that you know, since I doubt the old man would send you here without that knowledge.' _"That doesn't change the fact that you eat too damn much! Seriously, where does it all go, anyway? Certainly not to those breasts of yours!"

Lina snapped. She grabbed Eva in a headlock.

"TAKE THAT BACK YOU BRAT!"

"BRAT! I KNOW FOR A _FACT _THAT I'M OLDER THAN YOU!"

"Uh, Mistress, Lina-san," said Chachamaru distressedly, attempting to break up the fight, but to no avail.

"WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE AN OLD HAG THEN!"

"SCREW YOU, INVERSE!" Eva bit into Lina's arm and started to drink her blood.

"OW! YOU LITTLE-" Lina stopped suddenly as an idea struck her. As this happened, Chachamaru finally got the two apart, Eva growling.

"What, Inverse! 'You little' what!"

"Oh, uh… nothing, nothing at all… I'll just be going to my room, kay?" And Lina walked off.

"…Strange," Eva muttered, "But I guess I win. Ha!" She smirked, then turned to Chachamaru. "Go purchase more food."

"Yes mistress." Replied the gynoid, also adding, "…Perhaps you should apologize to Lina-san, mistress?"

"Apologize? Never!" Eva snorted and went upstairs, "I'll be in my room!"

"…" Chachamaru seemed a little irked by what had happened, but filed away those thoughts to deal with later, moving to do the task she had been assigned.

Meanwhile, Eva, up in her room and lying on her bed, thought, '_Damned Inverse… reminds me of HIM some… and I hate to admit it, but her blood's actually pretty good. I think I know how to have her pay rent, then…'_ She smirked a bit, then frowned, '_But why didn't she use a spell against me in her anger? I can feel her power, and I'm sure she had something to do with that spike of magical energy earlier… which I should either ask her or the old coot about… so why? I'm certain she wanted to, I know __**I **__wanted to cast something… though I couldn't thanks to that blasted curse… hmmm… and what was that strange chill I felt when Inverse went to her room?'_

And as Eva continued musing, a doll sitting on the shelves, Chachazero, had her own thoughts. Oh yes, she had heard the commotion downstairs. Hard not to, really. '_I think I might like this new girl,'_ she thought.

And as for Lina… she was sitting on her bed, snickering to herself in a very disturbing manner. Oh, she would get her revenge….

And as for how, well, let's just say she's found a spot to test out whether her Black magic works or not….

1111 Later, Outside the Cottage 1111

It was the middle of the night, long after everyone on campus had went to bed, including Eva. Lina however, was still very much awake, and set about her plan for revenge. She, still wearing her suit, and having brought her stuff (her suitcase) with her, walked outside the cottage a little ways, then turned toward it.

She put the suitcase down and smirked. _'Let's see if this works…'_ She held up her hands to cast a spell, and chanted,

_Darkness beyond twilight_

_Crimson beyond blood that flows_

At this point, she could feel magical energy gathering in her hands. She smirked again, _'So I know this at least works. And I think I know what those Mazoku are after, now… a fragment of Shabranigdo must be hidden on this world somewhere… I'll tell the old man about it later.'_ She continued chanting,

_Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows_

_I pledge myself to conquer all the fools who stand_

_Before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands_

_Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed _

_By the power you and I possess…_

A large red orb of pure destructive energy was now in Lina's hands. She prepared to fire it.

1111 Eva's room 1111

Eva, swearing that she could hear something outside, woke up from her slumber. She then felt a massive amount of magical energy.

"_DRAGOOOOON SLAAAAAAVE!"_ came a shout from outside. A blood red light started to flash outside and soon engulfed the room. (4)

"WHAT THE FU-" Eva began, and then-

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"HAHAHAHAHA! REVENGE IS AN _ENORMOUS_ BITCH, ISN'T IT EVA! HAHAHAHA!"

1111 Later that night 1111

Lina, Eva, Chachamaru, and Chachazero, all by some miracle alive and relatively unhurt, were all outside the large, smoking crater that used to be Eva's cottage, not to mention a large amount of nearby trees as well, Zero on Chachamaru's head. Lina looked smug. Eva was somewhere between tears, wanting to kill Lina brutally, and complete and utter 'OMGWTF'-ness. Chachamaru was annoyed, and it showed on her face. But, as for Zero…

The cutely psychopathic little doll had a damn near _reverent_ look on her face.

'_S-So much glorious destruction! It's… It's so beautiful!... I think… I think I'm in love…'_ Zero thought, staring at Lina and _blushing_.

…Okay, scratch what I said. The look wasn't so much 'damn near _reverent_' as it was 'rabid fangirl who wants to bear your children.'

…Well, what did you all expect? Zero loves destruction and chaos, and destruction and chaos is what Lina causes on a regular basis. You do the math. (5)

Ahem, that aside…

"What the hell, Inverse! I can understand getting revenge, but don't you think that destroying my _whole damn cottage_ is going a little overboard!" Eva glared at Lina.

"Well…" Lina replied somewhat sheepishly, the smug look gone, "Maybe a _little_…"

Eva gave the redhead a deadpan look, growled, and then sighed. "Inverse, you're damn lucky that I had already figured my cottage would be destroyed by some assassin out to get me or something at some point…" She turned toward the wreckage, "Because that caused me to make this." The vampire loli held up her hand and chanted something.

A large magical circle appeared where the cottage used to be, and in a flash…

FLASH!

…It was back!

"…Cool." Lina stated.

Eva smirked at the praise, then frowned, "Don't do it again, Inverse." And walked back inside, "Or else."

'_Oooh, I'm so scared… not'_ Lina thought with a half-lidded stare as Chachamaru walked up to her, a still blushing Zero in tow.

"Lina-san, please refrain from such violent outbursts in the future." Chachamaru stated, not in such an annoyed state of mind now that the cottage was back.

"I'll try Chachamaru, but no guarantees."

Chachamaru paused a moment, then said, "Why do you not address people with honorifics? I am curious."

"Well, sorry, my bad. It's just the way I talk, heh."

"I see."

"By the way Chachamaru, what the heck are those antenna things anyway? It's been bugging me since I first saw them."

"Well Lina-san, those are my ears. I am a robot."

"A what?"

"A robot is a mechanical and artificial being."

"Artificial? You mean like a golem or a doll or a puppet or something?"

"Yes, you could put it that way, though a robot is more advanced."

"Oh, okay then."

A moment of silence passed, and then Chachamaru bowed, though not enough to knock Zero off her head.

"Well, Lina-san, I must be going. I still have to purchase that food that mistress told me to obtain. However, before I depart, would you take Chachazero? She wishes to speak with you."

"Uh, sure." Chachamaru handed Lina Zero, and then flew off into the distance.

"…So, you're Chachazero?"

"Yep, Lina-sama. But you can call me Zero." Zero, notably, was blushing a little harder now. Lina decided to ignore it.

"Uh… why call me sama? Not that I don't like it or anything."

"Well, Lina-sama, it's because you destroying mistress's cabin… that was kickass!"

Lina grinned a little, "Thanks, I guess, heh."

"And don't listen to Chachamaru! Be as violent as you like! It's awesome!"

Lina's grin widened. "Hee hee. Nice to have a fan."

"Um, Lina-sama? Can you put me on your head?"

Lina shrugged. "Sure, why not?" And so Zero's new spot became Lina's head. Lina picked up her suitcase, and the two retired to her room for the rest of the night.

And Eva, in her room, couldn't help but think, '_The 'Dragon Slave,' huh? I've never heard of such a spell… though it's obviously quite powerful. And I could swear I felt demonic power… so many mysteries to you, Inverse…'_ The loli smirked. _'And I will solve them.'_

1111 The Next Morning, PE fields 1111

Class 2A was abuzz with the news of their old teacher's retirement, not to mention the new teacher they were going to have.

"I wonder who he is?" asked Sakurako Shiina.

"I heard it's a girl!" said her friend Madoka Kugimiya.

"I heard that too! And apparently she doesn't look much older than us!" exclaimed the last of the 'Cheerleader Trio,' Misa Kakizaki.

"I wonder if we can prank her?" questioned Fuka Narutaki.

"Sister, we really shouldn't…" said Fuka's twin sister, Fumika.

And of course, this was only some of the buzz. But honestly, I'm too lazy to write the comments of 30 schoolgirls, so this is all you're getting. Moving on….

"U-Um, I think that's her…" said Nodoka Miyazaki ever so shyly.

Sure enough, she was right. Lina was indeed walking towards the group, now clad in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, and wearing a black headband. Zero was on her head (which many of the girls found a little odd, but cute in a way). Lina eventually stopped in front of the group, and the noise quieted down. The redhead cleared her throat, then said, in a fairly authoritative voice,

"I'm Lina Inverse, and I'm your new PE instructor! A pleasure to meet you all!"

1111111111

_Next time:_

_Asuna: Isn't Lina-sensei a little young to be our teacher?_

_Negi: Um, hello, my name is Negi Springfield…_

_Asuna: Ah great, this kid's even worse…_

_Umbra: I'm baaaack! HAHAHAHA!_

_Dezga: (SNORE)_

_Lina: I just got here and already the craziness is beginning… am I a 'weird magnet' or something?_

111111111

And so the first episode ends, dood! Stay tuned for more and be sure to review!

Notes:

(1) If I'm not mistaken, a crow's caw sounds similar to a Japanese word meaning 'idiot' or 'stupid' or something to that effect. Which is why it can be used for comedic effect in stuff like this!

(2) This, and comments related to it, are references to one of the Slayers OVA's. Specifically, the one wherein Lina and Naga have their very first adventure as a team. Obviously, it ends with the dysfunctional duo fighting a vampire whose true form is… well, look up the OVA on Youtube and see! (I'm aware that many of you probably know this, dood, but I just felt like pointing it out anyway).

(3) Lina's suit is based on some Slayers NEXT eyecatches, some of which were in a high school setting. Remember them?

(4) Funny story about this, actually. As you may or may not know, the Dragon Slave is ALWAYS used in EVERY first episode of a Slayers season. Now tell me… what 'episode' of Mahou Sensei Lina Inverse is this chapter? (Hint: look at the top or at the little thing above the 'Notes' section).

(5) In all honesty, Zero's little crush on Lina is probably going to be used mainly for (perverted) comedic effect. Whether I'll do anything else with it or not is debatable, dood.


	3. Teachers, Dodgeballs, and Bears, Oh My!

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs, and I guess maybe the plot. Nothing else. So there!

AN: And so the second episode is here! I do hope you enjoy Lina's first days on the job and her interaction with the various people of Mahora, etc… Still a little slow here, sorry!

_Review Responses:_

_Robby Cartwright:_ Nice to see you enjoyed it! Don't worry, I plan on keeping up the good stuff, dood!

_tojaka:_ What will happen now, you ask? Read and find out, dood! And, in response to your PM, neither Naga nor Martina will show up... most likely. Even I have to admit that that'd be hilarious, though... And no, Eva doesn't know Gaav/Garv- They're from different worlds, after all! (And even if she did, he's already dead anyway)

_lord Martiya:_ Yup, low power setting. That and comedic effect. Yeah, I am fairly interested in that Eva info, though I'm not sure if I'll be able to use it in the fic or not. Send me a PM maybe and I'll see.

_Dark Lord Sigma and MASmaster:_ Glad ya like the comedy, expect more dood! Yeah, I guess that foreshadowing with Chao was pretty obvious, eh, dood? And you can thank my hard work by keeping up the good work on your fic(s), dood. :)

All that said, let's get it on!

**Episode 2: Teachers, Dodgeballs, and Bears, Oh My!**

1111111

1111 PE Fields 1111

"I'm Lina Inverse, and I'm your new PE instructor! A pleasure to meet you all!" Lina shouted authoritatively to the class of 2A, Chachazero present on her head. "I'm a little new at this teaching thing, but I hope we can all have a good class together! Now, just hang on a sec while I take roll…"

And as Lina did this, the girls of 2A talked with each other and expressed their reactions. For the most part, they were excited and curious. However, a select few had slightly different opinions…

Kaede Nagase, Setsuna Sakurazaki, and Mana Tatsumiya were all quite aware of her power, and were a little wary, especially after yesterday's 'Magical Energy Spike' incident. True, the Dean had later on that day told them that it was nothing to be concerned about, but still.

Eva was gaping at the thought of the ever-irritating (well, in her opinion anyway) redhead actually being her TEACHER. The evil glint Eva swore that she saw in Lina's eye at some point during the roll, a point wherein her eyes shifted almost unnoticeably to Eva for a split second, did NOT help the vamp's mood much.

Chachamaru made sure to update her databanks so as to refer to Lina as 'Lina-sensei' from now on, rather than 'Lina-san.' Also, she really couldn't help but hope that Lina and her mistress would get along… despite the rather low percentage of such an occurrence that her calculations showed.

Chao found herself wondering if Lina would make a good ally… ah, but that's for another time.

As Lina finished the roll, she called out, "Before we begin, does anyone have any questions for me?"

Resident news reporter Kazumi Asakura almost immediately asked, "Where are you from and do you have a boyfriend?"

"None of your business and if you ask again you're running extra laps." Lina stated in a deadpan tone.

The student Asuna Kagurazaka then asked, "Aren't you a little young to be a teacher?" '_Seriously, she looks like she should be in high school!'_

"I'm 18. So yeah, maybe a little, but tough luck, Kagurazaka. Next!"

Haruna Saotome, class pervert (eh, more or less), asked, "Are you a lesbian?"

An awkward moment of silence passed. Eva stifled a laugh. A crow cawed in the distance, likely the same one Lina heard yesterday. And as Lina answered, she made a note to herself to find that crow and kill it later.

"…Why the HELL would you ask something like that?" She blushed a bit, though whether it was in embarrassment or anger was debatable.

"Well, because of that rumor that female PE teachers are lesbians!" (1)

"…You're basing this off a rumor?" Lina deadpanned.

"Yeah."

"You're running ten extra laps after class today."

"But!" Haruna whined.

"Alright, that's enough questions for now, just go and run a couple of laps around the field."

The class went to do so, Lina keeping an eye out to make sure that no one slacked off.

"…That was evil of you, Lina-sama! I liked it!" commented Zero, referring to Haruna's punishment. She then asked, "What would you have done if mistress had been lazy?"

"…I would've threatened to force-feed her garlic while she slept." Lina responded, smirking.

"Ouch." Zero said, amused.

Meanwhile, Haruna, while running, muttered, "She's totally a lesbian."

"I HEARD THAT SAOTOME! NOW YOU'RE RUNNING _20_ EXTRA LAPS AFTER CLASS!"

1111 The next day, Dean's Office 1111

Lina, dressed again in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, yawned a little. She had been up last night enjoying the thing known as 'television.' She didn't have it back on her world, and she had to admit, it was pretty cool. As a result, she had stayed up and watched some random horror movies with Zero, who probably enjoyed the death/killing scenes a _little_ too much. Lina and Eva had even gotten into another fight at one point, caused by Lina turning up the volume too loud… which, of course, she did just to piss off Eva. But, I digress….

Lina was in the office to tell Konoemon what she had figured out regarding the plans of the Mazoku. Zero, much to the little doll's distress, had been removed from her (beloved) Lina-sama's head for the time being, and was waiting outside the office. Konoemon began business by casting some kind of silencing spell, so as to keep the info confidential. It was not an issue last time, as there were no listeners, but this time, Zero needed to be kept out of things.

Konoemon started, "So what is it that you wanted to tell me, Lina-san?"

"I know why those Mazoku wanted to come here now." Lina said, completely serious.

"I see…"

"Yeah. They're after a fragment of a powerful demonic god from my world called Shabranigdo."

"Oh, that can't be good… but what would a fragment of a god from your world be doing here?"

"I don't know, old man. It just is."

"Alright… where is this fragment?"

"It's sealed inside a human somewhere in this world."

"Do you know where, exactly?"

"No… for all I know it's sealed in some random guy halfway across the planet from here."

"I see…"

"But, on the other hand old man, I am getting this weird feeling that it may actually be somewhere in the academy… women's intuition, I guess…."

"Well, no matter where this fragment may be, the mages of Mahora will assist you in stopping its release, Lina-san."

"Thanks old man."

And as this conversation finished, the serious atmosphere dispersed. Zero was let into the room and regained her position atop Lina's cranium, much to the Dean's amusement.

Then, Konoemon said, "Oh yes, I just remembered… was that large explosion in the woods last night caused by you, Lina-san?"

Zero looked quite proud of her Lina-sama at the reminder, and blushed at the memory of the 'glorious destruction,' while Lina herself had the decency to look a bit sheepish, "Uh… yeah, it was." Her face returning to its regular expression, she asked, "I was actually wondering why you didn't send security or something."

"Hohoho. I considered doing so, but then decided that if were a threat, then Evangeline and Chachamaru would probably have dealt with it. And of course, it also occurred to me that it may have been you… hohoho!"

Suddenly, the trio in the office found themselves jumping in surprise as they heard a voice outside cry, "HAS THIS WHOLE SCHOOL GONE MENTAL!"

"…That sounded like Kagurazaka." Commented Lina, who vaguely remembered the orange-haired girl's voice from that question she'd asked yesterday.

And, in a few minutes, Lina, Konoemon, and Zero found themselves joined by Asuna, Konoka, and a young boy named Negi. Negi and Konoemon talked for a bit. During this time, Lina wondered why a _ten year old_ would be a teacher. Asuna groaned to herself at the thought of having another young teacher. I mean, she could take Lina somewhat since the redhead WAS 18, but this kid? Who had embarrassed the hell out of her, no less? Not so much. And as for Zero, she was thinking thoughts regarding Lina that may or may not have been lewd, I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention.

Who WOULD pay attention, after the ample-chested Shizuna came in and greeted Negi?… and of course the lucky bastard was just the right height to get squished between her breasts.

Anyway, following a little more discussion, Konoemon asked to speak with just Negi and Lina, and so the room vacated.

"Well Negi-kun, this is one of your coworkers, Lina Inverse-san. She is new here like you and I do hope you two can help each other out when you can, as being new in a place like this can be quite taxing."

Negi bowed to Lina. "Greetings, Lina-san."

"Nice ta meet ya, kid." Lina said nonchalantly, then, looking up, "You say something too Zero."

"Hi!" said the doll. Negi looked a bit surprised that Zero could talk.

"Oh yes Negi-kun, Lina-san here is a mage, just as you are."

A look of understanding crossed the young boy's face.

"…You know kid, did it ever occur to you that maybe carrying around that staff might be a little suspicious?"

Another awkward moment of silence, and another random crow caw.

'…_That bird's as good as cooked…'_ Yeah, three's the charm for Lina. The bird had to die later.

Getting back to business, Negi looked a tad embarrassed. "Um…well, no, I suppose it didn't…"

Lina sighed and walked over to Negi, and patted him on the head. "You've got a lot to learn, kid." And then she made her way out of the office "Later!"

1111 Later, Welcoming Party 1111

Class 2A had decided to throw a party for their two new teachers. Well, mostly Negi due to most of the class finding him adorable, but Lina was lucky enough to be able to cash in on things.

In other words, she ate food. A LOT of food. Much of which was meat buns made by Chao and Satsuki. Guess who their new favorite customer is?

Lina, having finished stuffing her face, was sitting a little ways away from the action now, Zero in her usual spot. Lina was still in her 'PE teacher outfit.' Eva and Chachamaru soon joined them.

"…And you're sitting here WHY, Eva?" Lina asked, drinking a soda.

"Because, INVERSE, I find you more bearable than these idiot girls, if only barely." Eva replied, sipping tea.

"Aw, I feel so honored," Lina answered sarcastically.

"Screw you, Inverse," Eva retorted, tick mark present.

"Bite me, Eva." Lina developed a tick mark of her own.

"Don't tempt me…"

The two dysfunctional housemates glared at each other lightly and then proceeded to ignore the other. Chachamaru sighed a bit. Zero looked a little disappointed, likely because she wanted another fight to break out.

And from there things went on fairly normally. Or they would have, except that Class 2A doesn't really qualify as 'normal' except maybe by an insane lunatic's standards.

1111 Later that night, Eva's Cottage 1111

Lina was cooking dinner for herself. As she did this, Eva, smelling something odd, walked in.

"…What's that smell?" The loli inquired.

"Roasted crow." Lina replied nonchalantly, continuing her cooking and mostly ignoring the vamp. Zero, sitting in a nearby chair, giggled a little. (2)

Eva gave her houseguest a funny look before deciding that she was probably better off not knowing.

1111 The next day, PE fields 1111

Lina knew something was up. Hard not to when half your class is in a daze.

'… _What, did they all sleep in or something?'_ The redhead thought to herself somewhat sarcastically.

Lina decided to just take roll. Eva walked past her as she did so, muttering 'love potion' just loud enough for the redhead to hear.

'_Ah, that explains it… Why do I get the feeling that that kid Negi is involved?'_ The new teacher thought to herself with a half-lidded gaze.

Finishing roll call, she yelled, "Alright ladies, I don't know what happened and I don't care. Just run some laps, maybe that'll wake y'all up. AND NO FALLING ASLEEP!"

The portion of the class that wasn't something along the lines of 'drunk' did so readily. The part of the class that was 'drunk' groaned a bit before complying.

Lina grumbled something under her breath. She got the feeling that things would only get more bizarre from here. She idly considered asking (read: persuading) Konoemon to give her a raise.

Then the sorceress felt something. And it felt… familiar…. She turned around quickly, eyeing a tree behind her. She could've sworn she saw something disappear. As if to confirm her thought that something was there, a few leaves fluttered down, disturbed.

'_Hmmm…'_ Lina thought, before asking Zero, present on her head as usual (I think by now I probably don't need to keep repeating this, do I?), "Zero, did you feel something…?"

"Yeah, Lina-sama, I did. I wonder what it was?"

"…If it was what I think it was, you may get the chance to kill something soon."

"Really? Yay! You're the best, Lina-sama!"

1111 Unknown Location 1111

In a dark, damp place elsewhere, a place that looked quite similar to an overly-spacious sewer, a familiar shadowy being was brooding.

It was Umbra. And soon Dezga appeared beside him.

"… I (yawn) found Inverse, sir. She's a teacher or something now, it looks like."

"Really now? Interesting… did you find any of her pesky friends?"

"No, sir (yawn)."

Umbra narrowed his eyes, seeming to glare at nothing in particular, pausing a moment.

"… Does anyone (yawn) reading this even remember us?" Dezga suddenly inquired, sleepily. (3)

"They should, it's only been two chapters… AND STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" Umbra muttered, then yelled, in an annoyed fashion.

"Alright, alright, sheesh…" Dezga looked around for a minute, "… (yawn) Where's Kragoss?"

"I don't know or really particularly care. Last I saw he was trying to catch and eat sewer rats."

"KRAGOSS GOT YOU NOW, CHEESEBURGER!" A shout echoed from elsewhere in the sewer.

"…And the idiot appears to be under the impression that the rats are cheeseburgers…" Umbra muttered, becoming ever more irritated. Ignoring his more idiotic minion, he turned back to Dezga.

"Bring me an animal or something. I don't care where you get it from, but _get one_."

"(Yawn) Why, sir?"

"Oh, you'll see soon enough…" Despite having no apparent mouth, the fact that Umbra was smirking was undeniable.

Dezga teleported away to do his job, muttering, "This better be worth skipping my nap…" as he did so.

1111 The next day (again…), Hot Springs/Bathhouse 1111

"Aaaah… This feels so good…" Lina said, enjoying her bath. She'd heard about this place some time ago but hadn't really gotten around to trying it out until now. Zero, being made of wood, was sitting nearby. Whether the blush on the doll's face was the result of the heat or possibly _something else_ (nudge nudge, wink wink) was debatable. (4)

And then Lina's relaxation time was interrupted as Asuna stormed in and tossed Negi into the water with a splash. The two didn't really notice Lina, too busy with their own devices, until,

"Ahem." Lina stated.

"Geh!" Asuna and Negi jumped.

"L-Lina-sensei?"

"Lina-san?"

"Wow, ya guys finally noticed me. Too busy flirting or what?"

Asuna blushed and sputtered something incoherent at this, and Negi himself looked pretty embarrassed as well.

"Stop being all embarrassed and do whatever you came in here to do, just don't bother me." Lina told them, trying to get back in her 'happy place.'

The young mage and his, uh, retainer (yeah, let's go with that) complied, still blushing a bit.

And then yet another interruption came in the form of EVERY girl in the class deciding to walk in and bathe for whatever reason. As the outside commotion neared, Asuna whispered a "Please don't tell them we're here." To Lina as she and Negi ducked behind a plant to hide.

'_Eh, why not… but they totally owe me later.'_ Lina thought to herself with a smirk.

The girls of 2A settled into the bath, most saying 'Hi, Lina-sensei' or something to that effect before returning to their own devices. Eva set herself down beside Lina again.

"…You're sitting by me because you find me more bearable than the other girls, right Eva?" Lina asked the loli.

"Yes Inverse, if only barely. Any particular reason why you're asking?"

"Well, considering the mindset of a lot of the girls in this class…" Lina began.

"You think they're going to misconstrue something, don't you Inverse?" Eva finished, before scoffing, "If that happens, they're all dead meat."

"Maybe Eva, but not before our reps are shot straight to hell."

"…" Eva inched away from Lina slightly. "…Satisfied now, Inverse?"

"Eh, I guess that's enough space to be safe…"

And as this conversation finished, the vamp and sorceress then became witness to a moment that Lina would find hilarious for ages to come… the 'Asuna Breast Inflation' incident. Oh yes, this was a night that would live in infamy, as Lina (while noting that, unsurprisingly, Asuna knew about magic) and Zero laughed their asses off at the sight (luckily, Zero went unnoticed by the girls) and even Eva found herself snickering a bit.

Yeah, tonight was a good night…

1111 The next day (yet again…), Eva's Cottage 1111

It was afterschool, and as Negi tutored the 'Baka Rangers,' Lina was browsing through some books of Eva's, most of which were magic-related.

"Hey Eva, ya mind if I read some of your books?" She yelled to the vamp, thinking, '_It would probably be a good idea to learn about this world's magic…'_

"Whatever, Inverse," Came the vamp's answer to Lina's question, "Just keep them in good shape or you're dead."

"Bring it on, Eva…" The redhead muttered under her breath as she took out a book and found a place to read. Suffice to say, some of the stuff she read about was quite fascinating… (cough) _Pactio_ (cough).

1111 Later that Night, the Sewer-like Place 1111

"Alright sir, here's an (yawn) animal. Now what?" Dezga said, having brought in a large bear. Said bear wore a collar with the word 'Archie' engraved on it. How odd.

"(whimper) (whimper)" cowered the bear in fear.

"… Dezga, are you aware of a little something known as 'willpower'?" Umbra asked, looking at the bear, apparently named 'Archie,' menacingly.

"Yeah, sir. Why?"

"Well, let me tell you something. There are three levels of willpower. The first is the 'Intelligent Being' level. Intelligent creatures, such as humans, have a great amount of will; this level is the strongest. The second is the 'Animal' level. Unintelligent creatures, such as this bear, have some semblance of will, but not enough intelligence to use it; they mainly run on instinct. The last level is the 'Sleeping' level. Sleeping or dormant beings have no will to speak of until they awaken. You got this all so far?" Umbra explained. (5)

"Yeah. So, this (yawn) bear is in that second level. So…?"

"Well, you see, I have an interesting little ability I like to call 'Corruption,' which allows me to mutate and take control of living things," Umbra continued explaining, his tone growing ever more menacing, "And depending on the strength of will the creature I use it on has, they have varying ability to resist 'corruption.' And a second level being like 'Archie' here…" Umbra raised a hand, "… Is rather easy for me to corrupt…" Umbra made his way toward the whimpering Archie, placing his hand upon its head.

ZAAAAP!

Tendrils of darkness spread over Archie's form as the process of Corruption began.

"(WHIMPER) (WHIMPER)"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"…This is creepy…" Dezga muttered, "…Like a rape scene or something…"

After a long, agonizing, half-minute or so, the process was complete, and a new being lurked in the shadows where Archie once was. Umbra turned to Dezga.

"Dezga, meet… Shadow Bear." Turning back to 'Shadow Bear,' the mutated creature growling, Umbra then ordered, "Now, my creation… KILL LINA INVERSE!"

"**Kill… Lina Inverse…"** The being parroted, before making its way out of the lair.

After a few moments, Dezga then lazily commented, "Well (yawn), better Shadow Bear than Pedobear…"

Umbra turned to the lazy Mazoku, bearing a deadpan expression.

"…What?" Dezga inquired. Umbra just shook his head and slithered away.

1111 The next day (here we go again…), Mahora Quad (I think) 1111

Various students relaxed in the greenery, sun shining brightly. Among them were Class 2A's 'sports girls,' Makie Sasaki, Yuna Akashi, Akira Okochi, and Ako Izumi, who were playing volleyball.

"So what do you guys think of our new teachers so far?" Asked Makie, passing the ball to Akira.

"Well, Lina-sensei's a little strict, but seems quite nice." Akira passed it to Yuna. "And Negi-bozu is pretty cute."

"Yeah, and Negi-kun tries pretty hard." Yuna hit it to Ako.

"Well, even though Negi-sensei is cute," Ako caught and kept the ball, "It'd be nice if we could rely on him a little more for advice like Lina-sensei or Takahata-sensei. I mean, he IS our homeroom teacher, even if he is a kid." She hit it to Yuna.

"I don't see what the big deal is, since this is an elevator school anyway." Yuna bounced it to Makie.

"Yeah, but like Ako-chan said," Makie missed and the ball hit and rolled on the ground, "Lina-sensei would be better for advice… and heck, Negi-kun might actually have to ask US for advice! Hee!" As she moved to pick up the volleyball, she noticed a group of girls standing by it... Senior student girls.

Cue squabble, during which Ako and Makie ran off to get Negi.

Now, as all this occurred, Lina was making her way to the quad, intending to pass through it on her way elsewhere. Noticing the fight breaking out, she was going to step in and end it (read: give the seniors a good ass whooping), but…

"Stop picking on my students!" Negi yelled, rushing to the scene. "I-I'll get mad if you keep doing this! A-And picking on others isn't nice!"

Lina just gave a deadpan expression upon seeing this. '_…That was pathetic…'_

Deciding that Negi would need the experience as a result of his display, she opted to let him take care of things and sat back and watched the action. She found it all rather amusing, really, Zero even more so.

Eventually, Takamichi arrived and ended the fighting. He walked over to Lina.

"Hello, you're Lina-san, right?"

"Yeah, that's me. Hmmm… You seem kinda familiar, by the way…" The redhead vaguely remembered someone looking like him, but couldn't quite put her finger on why.

"Well, I was the one who found you that day."

"Oh yeah! I remember now! So, you're Takamichi, right?" She remembered the day she got here a little more clearly now, and also recalled the name of the person Konoemon said found her.

"Yep, that's me Lina-san." Takamichi said, a small smile on his face. It turned into a neutral expression as he continued, "Now, I was actually wondering why you didn't step in to stop the seniors."

"Ah, come on Takamichi, did you SEE Negi's pathetic little attempt at authority? I figured he could stand to build a little character, you know?"

"Hm… I suppose you do have a point Lina-san."

"Damn right I do! And I get the feeling those girls aren't finished yet…"

"Mm-hm…" Takamichi nodded a little in agreement.

"…Takamichi, you know those seniors, right? When do you think they'll be back?"

"…Probably around your PE period or so."

"I see… Takamichi, can you tell the old man I'm taking the rest of the day off? And to have Negi sub?"

"Alright, sure… but why?" Takamichi asked, confused.

"Because if you're right about when the seniors'll be back, then if I'm there, Negi won't be able to grow, you know? He needs this." Lina said, serious look present. It then changed to a lighter-hearted one, "And besides, I still haven't gotten around to seeing much of the campus yet!"

Takamichi laughed a bit. "Don't worry, Lina-san. I've got it."

"Thanks, Takamichi. Alright, see ya!" And Lina ran off.

"…Lina-sama, are you sure we can't at least watch the action?" Zero asked, referring to the fight that was sure to break out between sempais and kohais.

"Yes, I'm sure Zero. Sorry!"

"Awww…"

"Relax, Zero! On the bright side, we can see that new horror movie you wanted to watch! What was it called… _Splice_, I think?" (6)

"Oh, true… Thanks, Lina-sama!"

1111 Mahora streets 1111

Lina was currently in search of the campus movie theater in order to watch the previously-mentioned movie. The streets were rather deserted since classes were still in session. And yet, oddly…

"…_Lina-sensei?"_ came a whisper.

The redhead jumped, and whirled around to see… nothing. She stopped a moment. '_Weird…'_

"_Lina-sensei?"_ the whisper came again, this time a little clearer.

"Okay, I know I heard something that time…" Lina muttered, "What about you, Zero?"

"I think I heard something…"

"_Lina-sensei!"_ Okay, THAT was pretty damn clear!

"Alright then…" Lina looked all around, and, failing to find anything, let loose a little magical energy, which inadvertently seeped into Zero as well.

And, lo and behold… there was a ghost girl floating a little ways away!

"LINA-SENSEI!" The girl shouted rather loudly.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT I HEAR _AND_ SEE YOU! Geez…"

"You… You can see me…?" The ghost girl said, clearly excited.

"Yeah, yeah… hey, you're Aisaka, aren't you?" '_Well, that'd explain why I've never seen her in class…'_

"Yes… Yes!" resident ghost of Class 2A, Sayo Aisaka, shouted happily, "You can see me!" And then she tried to hug Lina… only to pass through her. "… Awww…" She seemed slightly dejected.

Lina shivered a little at the sensation, then reached a hand to the ghost. "Hey, don't worry kid! You'll be able to touch things someday… well, probably anyway."

"Oh, um… Thanks Lina-sensei… um… will you be my friend?"

"Sure, why not? Just, no possessing me, alright?" Lina said, remembering that one incident that occurred soon after meeting Amelia. (7)

"Don't worry Lina-sensei, I would never do something like that…"

"Good. Zero, you'll be Aisaka's friend too, right?"

"Sure. Can we go see _Splice_ now?"

"Alright, alright. You wanna come, Aisaka?"

Sayo nodded and floated beside Lina and Zero as they made their way to the theater.

1111 Rooftop courts 1111

Lina and Takamichi's 'plan' worked out nicely, as now Negi, as well as most of Class 2A, was up against the seniors in a dodgeball game. Of course, there were some who weren't participating… such as Eva and Chachamaru for instance, who were wondering where exactly Lina was.

However, at the moment, we will focus on two girls in particular: Mana Tatsumiya, resident gun-slinging priestess (at the moment cleaning one of her guns), and Zazie Rainyday, resident silent (mostly) acrobat. Zazie moved to sit beside Mana.

"…" She… 'said.'

"…What's wrong, Zazie? You seem a little down." Mana questioned.

"… Archie was kidnapped…" Zazie said, a sad note clear in her quiet voice.

"You mean that bear in your circus?" Zazie had taken Mana to her 'Nightmare Circus' a few times, so the priestess recognized the name of the circus bear somewhat. "How was he kidnapped?" (8)

"…His cage bars were slashed open…"

"What? Slashed open? But how?"

"…" The acrobat offered no answer, not knowing how.

"…Strange…" Mana muttered, before returning to cleaning her gun.

She found herself wondering why she suddenly had a very bad feeling….

1111 Forest 1111

"Man… Why'd they have to be sold out of tickets…?" Zero whined.

"Oh relax, Zero. They'll restock."

"Lina-sensei's right Zero-san. Just be patient."

"But I really wanted to see it…"

Such was the conversation the trio of Lina, Zero, and Sayo had as they waltzed through the woods. The movie they had went to see was, obviously, sold out, and so Lina opted to just do a little more sightseeing and then go home instead. Actually, they were on their way home right now.

CRACK!

… Or at least they were, until that sound reached their ears.

"What was that!" Lina shouted. Whatever it was, it sounded _big_.

"**Kill…"** Came an intimidating voice as the racket continued, something stomping through the brush.

CRACK! CRASH!

"Lina-sensei, I'm scared!" Sayo shouted over the noise, hiding behind the sorceress.

"Will I get to kill something Lina-sama?" Zero asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I'm getting that feeling…"

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

And the mystery creature revealed itself to be…

"**ROAAAAR! KILL LINA INVERSE!**" Shouted the monster, now revealed to be an extremely large, inky black bear with glowing yellow eyes.

…Curiously, it wore a spiked collar with the word 'Archie' engraved on it.

'_Ah, crap…'_ Lina thought as she prepared for battle.

"**ROAAAAR!"**

11111111

_Next time:_

_Lina: Dammit, does ANYTHING work against this bastard!_

_Archie: __**ROAAAR! KILL LINA INVERSE!**_

_Mana: Looks like you could use some help, Lina-sensei!_

_Lina: YA THINK!_

_Lina:… And to top it all off, Library Island? I wonder if there's treasure there?_

11111111

…And the second episode ends with a cliffy! Aren't I evil, dood? MWAHAHAHA! Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed the chap, be sure to review, and catch ya later, doods!

Notes:

(1) I really couldn't help myself with this. I just heard the rumor and thought it'd be funny.

(2) Couldn't really help myself here either. I wonder what roasted crow tastes like?

(3) Seriously, DOES anyone out there remember these guys?

(4) I really like to emphasize Zero's fangirlish-ness regarding Lina a lot, don't I?

(5) Honestly, I made that all up off the top of my head.

(6) Again, I couldn't help myself, I thought it would be fairly fitting. Has anyone reading this seen that movie, by the way? What was it like?

(7) Referring to Season 1, Episode 12 of Slayers, for anyone who's curious.

(8) I guess Archie is technically an OC. If you think about it though, it would make sense for Zazie's circus to have stuff like that.

... It also occurs to me that the title is a reference to something, I think the Wizard of Oz, and that this chap has A LOT of notes. Sheesh...


	4. Action and Adventure!

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs. That's it. Nothing else. They're the only thing. Otherwise, I own zip. Nada. Bupkiss.

Lina: GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

Alright, alright….

_Review Responses:_

_lord Martiya:_ Read the chap and find out! And regarding your PM, I might be able to use that info in the future... more likely than not, actually, as I have some plans in mind that that info can fit into quite nicely. If I do use it, I'll be sure to credit you for the info, dood.

_tojaka:_ Glad ya liked it. Yeah, Lina's going to Library Island- her adventure there actually starts this chapter and continues into the next.

_a:_ Nice to see you enjoyed it. Don't worry too much about the fourth wall breaking, dood- it won't happen all THAT much. And even when it does happen, it's only for comic relief purposes.

Anyways...

AN: Here's the third episode, everyone! Enjoy!

**Episode 3: Action and Adventure! A Beast's Claws and an Island's Secrets!**

**1111 1111 1111 1111 1111**

**1111 Forest 1111 … … … … … … **

"**(ROAAAR!) KILL LINA INVERSE!"** Shouted the towering (as in, like, 14 feet tall) shadowy monstrosity of a bear as it slashed its foot-long claws at our heroine Lina. She leapt out of the way and the attack wound up ripping a tree in half.

CRASH!

As the tree fell, Lina blasted the beast with a hail of _Flare Arrows_, noting its similarity in appearance to a certain other being….

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The arrows impacted on the beast, obscuring it in a smokescreen.

"…Did I get it?" Lina asked. The smoke then cleared to reveal the monster _regenerating _from its injuries, growling menacingly.

"**Kill…"**

"That'd be a no…" Lina muttered. '_So it looks like that shadow guy… never did get his name… and it regenerates like him. Well, crap.'_ Archie lashed at her with a claw. Again Lina dodged.

CRASH!

The bear's strike left a crater in the ground where it hit. Lina fired a _Flare Lance_, splattering Archie into several shadowy puddles again, which soon began to reform.

'_Well, on the bright side, it probably has the same weakness as what's-his-name… the problem is, WHAT is that weakness exactly?'_ Lina thought, remembering her fight with that Mazoku…

_2222 Flashback 2222_

"_What? But how?" Lina asked, surprised and irritated. "You're a Mazoku! You SHOULD be dead!"_

"_Normally yes, but you see, as a result of an experiment I allowed to be performed on me, ASTRAL SPELLS NO LONGER AFFECT ME! They are about as effective as a flyswatter to a dragon!" Umbra taunted haughtily, "True, I still do have a weakness, but I do NOT intend to tell you what it is! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_2222 End Flashback 2222_

Lina glared at the monster and gritted her teeth.

"**Master Umbra commands… KILL…"** The creature muttered as it reformed.

'_So that's the name of that Mazoku…'_ Lina mused, then looked to Zero for a moment.

"Hey Zero, as much as I hate to say it… I think you'll have to stay out of this."

"Huh?" Zero whined, "But why, Lina-sama?"

"Because something tells me that neither of us has much of a chance of hurting this thing…"

The beast came forward with another claw swipe. Lina dodged.

"… And I don't want you getting needlessly hurt! _Ra Tilt!_" She blasted Archie with intense astral energy, splattering his body over the battleground again.

"Oh… Lina-sama…" Zero blushed slightly. _'That's so cool of you… but it sucks that I won't get to kill something though…'_ Archie reformed, and switching his tactics, launched a beam of darkness from his mouth. Lina countered with another _Ra Tilt._

BOOOM!

The attacks met in a large explosion, and as the battlefield became covered in smoke, Lina ducked for cover behind some trees to charge up a bigger spell.

'_Let's see if this works…'_ The sorceress thought, beginning to chant quietly.

_Darkness beyond twilight_

_Crimson beyond blood that flows_

Powerful magical energy began to gather in Lina's hands as she charged up her signature spell. Archie was at the moment unaware of her location.

_Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows_

Zero recognized the energy being gathered, and eagerly anticipated the destruction soon to come. '_Lina-sama's casting THAT spell again! Awesome!'_ The doll also thought, '_Lina-sama sure has some odd spells…'_

_I pledge myself to conquer all the fools who stand_

_Before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands_

Sayo peeked out from a nearby tree that she had been hiding behind, in awe of the power she felt. '_Lina-sensei… Wow….'_ Her face became determined. '_Get 'em, sensei!'_

Archie turned toward Lina's hiding spot, now knowing where she was. He growled. **"Grrrr…"**

_Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed_

_By the power you and I possess…_

Lina jumped out from her hiding spot to attack as Archie lunged at her.

"**KILL LINA INVERSE!"**

"EAT THIS, FURBALL! _DRAGOOON SLAAAVE!_"

_BOOOOOOM!_

**1111 Rooftop Courts 1111 … … … …**

The dodgeball game had finished, the seniors running off clothes-less as Negi had sneezed his signature 'strip the girls' sneeze at the end. The excitement died down and everyone began to leave.

However, Kaede, Mana, and Setsuna, all feeling a massive amount of power, stopped in their tracks and looked in the general direction of the woods. Knowing something was going down, they glanced at each other in a silent agreement of sorts and began making their way to the action.

Nearby, Eva had also stopped and looked in the direction of the forest. Her eyes narrowed, recognizing the feel of the energy of… what did Inverse call it… the _Dragon Slave_. _'…What's Inverse doing…?' _She thought.

"Come, Chachamaru!" She ordered as she went in the same direction as Kaede, Mana, and Setsuna, Chachamaru following as commanded.

Negi likely would have investigated as well, but as the kid was still inexperienced, not to mention tired out from the dodgeball game, he didn't sense the energy. Therefore, he retired to his room to rest for a while instead.

**1111 (Destroyed) Forest 1111 … … … …**

A large crater filled with smoke now replaced the former forest landscape, Lina standing outside of it. She held her breath. She _thought_ the monster was gone, but hey, you never know.

And when a blast of dark energy flew out from the smoke, that suspicion was what allowed her to get out of the way with only a fair injury on her arm.

"Ow!" She gritted out. _'Damn, that hurt!'_ She thought, _'But it's nothing big, at least…'_ She cast a healing spell on it, lessening the damage.

Meanwhile, the shadow creature Archie was revealed, of course, to have reformed again.

"**(ROAAAAR!)"** He bellowed, as if mocking Lina. The redhead gritted her teeth.

'_Damn… Does ANYTHING work against this bastard!'_ She thought angrily.

"No way…" Zero murmured, not just in awe (and admiration) of the damage caused to the forest, but also surprised at the bear actually _surviving_ the blast.

'_Nnngh… this looks bad…'_ Sayo thought, glancing worriedly at Lina and Zero.

Archie fired another blast. Lina moved away again, running into the part of the forest that was still intact. Archie stomped after her, firing blast after blast of darkness.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The blasts impacted all around Lina but never actually hit her as she continued to dash, thinking to herself quickly.

'_Well, the Dragon Slave didn't work… maybe I should try the Ragna Blade? But what if it doesn't work on this world?'_

BOOM!

"Geh!"

The sorceress' thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt as a blast landed in front of her, knocking her back. Archie loomed over her, and brought his foot down to crush her. Lina rolled out of the way.

CRASH!

"_Freeze Arrow!"_ The volley of arrows hit Archie and partially froze the beast.

"**Grrr…"** He growled, breaking out of the ice.

SHATTER!

'_Guess I'll never know till I try!'_

The monster loomed over Lina once more, growling at her and slobbering all over the ground. The redhead prepared herself to go another round with him, raising her hands to cast the _Ragna Blade_, but was interrupted.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Three shots rang out, piercing through Archie's body.

"Huh?" Lina questioned as the monster roared in annoyance. Following her question, an enormous shuriken came flying out and bisected Archie across the waist, followed by the down slash of a sword splitting what was left in two again, vertically. The shadowy bear proceeded to crumple into several puddles of darkness again.

"Hey, Lina-sensei!" shouted a voice as the tanned form of Mana Tatsumiya landed by Lina.

"Tatsumiya?" The sorceress asked, recognizing her student. Then Kaede and Setsuna landed as well. "Nagase and Sakurazaki, too?"

"Looks like you could use some help," Mana commented.

"Ya think!" Lina shouted, pointing to the reforming body of her adversary for emphasis, "This bastard keeps f00kin' _regenerating!"_

"Not to worry, de-gozaru," Kaede said, grabbing her shuriken where it landed."I think we can beat it together."

"Let's hope so," Setsuna said with a calm determination, glaring at the reforming beast with sword in hand.

"I'll put this on your tab, Lina-sensei!" Mana said with a grin, pointing a pair of pistols at the monster. Lina gave her a deadpan look.

"…While I do like the way you think Tatsumiya, at the same time, I can't help but want to throttle you."

Before Mana could retort, the monstrous Archie shouted "**KILL LINA INVERSE!"** and fired off another dark beam, sweeping it across the battlefield. The girls scattered to avoid it.

BOOOM!

The beam left a swathe of destruction in its wake as the vile yellow eyes of the beast glared at the interlopers with intense hatred. As the four women turned around to go back on the attack, Mana noticed the collar the bear was wearing. Her eyes widened.

'_Archie?'_ She thought, remembering her conversation with a certain acrobat earlier, '_That's the name of Zazie's circus bear that was kidnapped…'_

_2222 Flashback 2222 … … … …_

"…_What's wrong, Zazie? You seem a little down." Mana questioned._

"… _Archie was kidnapped…" Zazie said, a sad note clear in her quiet voice._

"_You mean that bear in your circus?" Zazie had taken Mana to her 'Nightmare Circus' a few times, so the priestess recognized the name of the circus bear somewhat._

_2222 End Flashback 2222 … … …_

Mana's eyes narrowed, '_Hmmm… could it be a case of demonic possession?'_

As the priestess thought this, Lina had cast an unsuccessful _Flare Lance_ at the beast as it swatted away Setsuna, who had attempted another slash at him.

Mana continued musing, '_Because if it is… then I believe I have a way to stop this thing…'_ She smirked and called, "Lina-sensei, Kaede, Setsuna! I have an idea! Follow me!" The gunslinger ran off in into the woods.

Lina, Setsuna, and Kaede all glanced at each other.

"Well, if no one's got any better ideas…" Lina commented, before going after Mana. The ninja and swordswoman soon followed, an angry Archie giving chase.

"**(ROAAAR!)"**

**1111 Tatsumiya Shrine 1111 … … …**

A beam of darkness flew out of the woods near the shrine as Mana, followed by Lina, Kaede, and Setsuna, reached her destination.

"The hell do you have in mind Tatsumiya?" Lina asked, panting a little. The priestess smirked.

"You'll see. Just hold him off for a minute, I need to get something," she said, entering her shrine.

"I hope whatever you have in mind works," Lina grumbled as she and her other two students faced the form of Archie stomping out of the woods.

"**KILL LINA INVERSE!"** The beast shouted as it prepared to launch another dark beam. But suddenly,

"Gee Inverse, what'd you do? Steal its honey?" Came a sarcastic voice from the forest as several blasts of icy energy froze Archie on the spot. The voice, who was none other than Evangeline, landed by Lina, Chachamaru accompanying the vampire loli.

"Hey mistress, Chachamaru!" shouted Zero.

"Wow Eva, you're hilarious," Lina then said as sarcastically as Eva did, "Why don't I feed you to him to apologize for 'stealing his honey'?" The two housemates glared at each other until Kaede shouted,

"I don't think this is the time to be arguing, de-gozaru!" She pointed to Archie as the possessed bear broke out of his prison.

"**(ROAAAR!)"** Boy, he sounded pissed. He attempted to slash at Eva, but Chachamaru launched a missile at him.

BOOM!

And the beast splattered into puddles once more… and, guess what? He reformed for the umpty-seventh time. What a surprise, eh?

"Bloody resilient bastard, isn't he?" Eva noted.

"You have NO idea, Eva." Lina stated.

The various girls got into battle positions as the beast went on the attack again.

**1111 Inside the Shrine 1111 … … …**

Mana was somewhat frantically searching through her ammo stores. She knew 'they' were here somewhere. 'They' being a particular type of bullet. You see, being a priestess, part of Mana's job is to perform exorcisms. To that end, she had some bullets filled with holy magic custom-made for this duty of hers.

… Now if only she could find the damn things….

'_No, no, that's not it either, no… where are they, dammit?'_ The gunslinger continued her search, the sounds of battle outside urging her on.

**1111 Outside 1111 … … …**

'_Tatsumiya had better hurry up with whatever plan she's got…'_ Lina thought as she saw some of Kaede's clones get destroyed by Archie. She gave the beast a jolt from a _Mono Volt_. It shrugged off the blast.

Setsuna sliced off Archie's arms, and he blasted her away with a beam of darkness, arms reattaching themselves. Eva froze him in another block of ice, but he didn't stay there long. Chachamaru launched several missiles at Archie, but he ultimately survived them as well.

"**(ROAAAR!)"** The beast raged, seemingly frustrated.

**1111 Inside 1111 … … …**

Mana was still looking for her holy bullets. "Let's see," she muttered, "… Here we are!" She pulled out bullet case out of her ammo stores. It had a cross on it. Loading the bullets into one of her pistols, she ran back outside.

**1111 Outside 1111 … … …**

"What took ya so long, Tatsumiya?" Lina shouted as Mana ran out of the shrine.

"Sorry, Lina-sensei! I just had some trouble finding what I was looking for!" The priestess smirked, aiming a pistol at Archie. "Everyone out of the way!" she shouted. The girls complied, Eva more reluctant, and Mana prepared to fire.

Archie turned toward her and growled before lunging.

BANG!

A shot rang out and pierced the beast's shoulder.

"**(ROAAAR!)"** The beast bellowed, this time… in pain? It began whimpering as the wound sizzled and sparked and began to glow with light. Mana smirked, and fired again.

BANG! BANG!

The shots blasted through Archie's stomach and other shoulder. These wounds also began sizzling and glowing with light, as the beast roared out in extreme pain.

"What's going on?" Lina asked.

"This beast was possessed," Mana explained, "So I merely exorcised whatever was controlling it with some holy bullets."

"I see…" Lina stated. '_So now I know Umbra's weakness… holy magic….'_

The light coming from Archie's wounds began to intensify and soon engulfed the area in a blinding flash. The girls shielded their eyes from it, and when they could see again, they found….

Just an average bear, looking around confusedly. You could almost hear it asking itself what the hell it had to drink last night.

"…(growl?)"

"…Okay, I get the whole 'demonic possession' thing, but what the heck is a bear doing in Mahora?" Lina asked, giving the now-harmless bear a half-lidded stare.

"It belongs to Zazie's circus." Mana answered her. "I'll be taking it back there now, but before I go…" Mana handed a slip of paper to Lina. "The bill." The gunslinger said, before walking to Archie and getting him to come with her. The bear, recognizing the occasional-visitor to the circus, happily followed.

Meanwhile, Lina processed the fact that a non-food bill had been handed to her. When it finally clicked… "Wait, what? HEY! TATSUMIYA, GET BACK HERE!"

… You know, if any of Lina's original circle of friends had been present, they probably would have said the situation was something along the lines of 'the pot calling the kettle black' or 'ironic' or something. I mean, Lina always bills people for her help, and now she was getting after Mana for doing exactly that. Or she would've, except,

"Hold it, Inverse," Eva stated, grabbing the back of Lina's shirt and stopping the redhead in her tracks.

"Let go of me Eva!" Lina shouted, flailing her arms wildly in a futile attempt to attack Mana. Kaede and Setsuna, still nearby, found the scene rather amusing, really.

"No. Now, care to explain why that thing was out to get you, specifically? I doubt that it yelled out 'kill Lina Inverse' for the hell of it."

Lina stopped struggling, and paused for a moment.

"…Evangeline-san is right. Why _was_ it after you, Lina-sensei?" Setsuna asked, curious. Kaede and Chachamaru nodded in agreement. Even Zero was a little curious.

"… Can we talk about it later?" Lina asked, "Tatsumiya should probably know too."

"…Very well, Inverse. But you aren't getting out of explaining." Eva let go of the redhead and began to head off elsewhere. "Come, Chachamaru!" The gynoid followed her mistress.

"Wait, Eva!" Lina shouted. Eva stopped for a moment.

"What, Inverse?"

"What took ya so long to get here, anyway?"

"I just had to get something from the cottage." '_Just a little something to grant me some of my power back temporarily…'_ "If that's everything Inverse, then I'll be taking my leave."

And so Eva and Chachamaru left.

"…I suppose we should be leaving as well, de-gozaru." Kaede said, Setsuna nodding to her statement. They both vacated the shrine grounds.

So, Lina was left alone with Zero. Sayo soon came out from where she had been hiding nearby.

"…Are you alright, sensei?" She asked, concerned.

"Yeah, fine. Let's get outta here, guys." Lina turned and began walking back to the cottage. Sayo and Zero nodded and followed (not that Zero had much of a choice, considering her position on Lina's head…).

"…That fight was AWESOME." Zero commented as the trio left.

**1111 Umbra's Lair 1111 … … …**

Dezga teleported in from… somewhere, to find Umbra brooding.

"Uh, sir…" the lazy Mazoku began hesitantly.

"What?" Umbra asked, expecting bad news and already in a bad mood.

"Well… (yawn) the bear lost."

Umbra glared at Dezga. "Hmph… no matter. Find me more animals to corrupt, and it shouldn't be a problem."

"Well, I think Inverse knows your (yawn) weakness now…"

Umbra paused, then said, "I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. Now go, lazy oaf!"

"(yawn) Sure, sure… whatever…." Dezga teleported away.

Umbra turned back to brooding, or whatever it was that he was doing. Hell, maybe he's just being dramatic. Meanwhile, Kragoss was… lost somewhere, most likely.

That idiot probably couldn't find his way out of a paper bag if there were arrows and an exit sign, after all.

**1111 Some Time Later, Tatsumiya Shrine 1111 … … …**

"Hey Zero, you're unable to move normally, right?" asked Lina.

"Yeah, Lina-sama. It's annoying." Zero answered.

The duo were again at the shrine, waiting for Eva, Chachamaru, Setsuna, and Kaede to show up and conversing to pass the time. Mana was in another room doing… something. Sayo was at the cottage taking a bit of a tour of the place, much to Eva's semi-annoyance. Lina had eventually gotten Eva to let Sayo visit whenever the ghost girl wanted to.

Going back to Lina and Zero's conversation….

"Well, we're gonna have to do something about that sometime."

"Really? Thanks Lina-sama!" _'Having to sit around all the time sucks. I wonder if Lina-sama can really fix that problem…'_ Zero could only imagine the carnage she could cause if she could move around normally…. Suffice to say, it would likely be R-rated gorn if it were a movie.

A few minutes of idle chitchat later, and the whole group (minus Sayo) was gathered in the living area of the shrine. Eva began things.

"So Inverse, explain. Why was that thing after you?"

"Well…" Lina chose her words carefully. Couldn't exactly tell them the whole story, now could she? They'd probably think she was nuts if she mentioned being from an entirely different world. So, "There's this demon who's out to kill me…" '_Well, technically it's true…' _"And I guess he took control of it and sent it after me."

"Why does he want to kill you, Lina-sensei?" Setsuna questioned.

"Eh, the guy wants to take over or destroy the world or some other 'I'm a villain, fear me' crap and I screwed with his plans." Like Lina's previous statement, this was also technically true. She wasn't sure if they should know about Umbra wanting to revive Shabranigdo, though, so she opted not to tell them. Yet, anyway.

Eva gave Lina a hard stare. '_Inverse is hiding something… but seeing as she likely won't tell us, perhaps I'll just look into her dreams or her memories later and find out that way…'_ Eva smirked inwardly, and said nothing. The vamp would find out all that she wanted at her leisure later.

"Well, Lina-sensei, we're here to help out if you need us, de-gozaru." Kaede said, smiling at her sensei.

"For the right price," Mana added, smirking.

"Thanks guys," Lina said with a smile that was somewhat strained as a result of Mana's comment.

"Well, if that's everything…" Setsuna said, getting up to leave.

"Bye, de-gozaru," Kaede finished, and she and Setsuna left. Eva and Chachamaru soon followed, leaving only Lina, Zero, and Mana.

"… Do you want something, Lina-sensei?" Mana asked the redhead.

"Can I borrow a gun and some of those holy bullets? You know, just in case?"

Mana smirked. "Sure. But they're not free…"

Lina grumbled. "Fine, I'll pay, I'll pay… (sigh) How much…?"

**1111 That Night, Eva's Cottage 1111 … … …**

"(SNORE)"

…In Lina's room, the sorceress was currently sleeping. Zero, on her chest, was doing the same. Eva walked into the room. By now that 'mysterious object' that had gave some of her power back had worn off. The vamp made a note to get Chachamaru to order more later, just in case.

That all being said, she was just a normal girl at the moment, and so couldn't get into Lina's dreams or memories. The loli stared at the redhead's sleeping form for a moment before walking back out and gazing out a window at the moon, which was half-covered in darkness. A somewhat determined look crossed her face.

'_Just you wait until the next full moon, Inverse. Then, your secrets will be found out… I wonder what you could be hiding…'_

**1111 11 A Couple of Days Later, Hot Springs 11 1111**

"Aaah… Still feels as good as last time…" Lina sighed in wonder, Zero nearby. Some of the students were also in the bath as well, having fun. The sorceress just relaxed in bliss… until….

"Hey, you know about Library Island, right?" asked the student Yue Ayase, who was among the students known as the 'Baka Rangers'- Asuna, Makie, Kaede, and the Chinese girl Ku Fei, with Yue herself as leader.

"You mean that building on the lake? People say it's pretty dangerous…" commented Asuna.

"Yeah, but there's also supposedly a 'magic book' there…" Yue continued.

Lina's ears perked up at this. Her thought process looked something like the following: _magic book = treasure = possibility of more treasure = Lina is rich!_. She developed a smirk as she continued listening to the conversation.

Oh yes, the Baka Rangers would be having an unexpected tagalong very soon….

**1111 That Night, Library Island 1111 … … …**

The Baka Rangers, plus Negi, were about to begin their expedition into the depths of the Library of Doom. Konoka, Haruna, and Nodoka would be their outside contacts. They opened the massive doors to the library.

CREEEAK

The group cautiously made their way in, wary of danger in the darkness of the place. Suddenly,

"Boo!" A ghost with two ghastly glowing faces jumped from nowhere to feast on their souls! Naturally, everyone panicked.

"EEEEEK!" The whole group shrieked, eyes wide with horror.

"Pfft… haha… HAHAHAHAHA! Man, I got you guys _good!_ HA!" Oh wait, that's not a ghost! It's just Lina holding a candle under her face for scary effect. Zero was atop the sorceress' head as per usual, struggling to retain her laughter. Lina, however, had no such restrictions.

"HAHAHAHA!"

"L-Lina-sensei!" Yue said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"And why'd you have to go and scare the crap out of us!" Asuna shouted. "You damn near gave us all heart attacks!"

After calming down some, Lina answered, "I'm here because I overheard you in the hot springs talking about some magic book-or-other and figured you'd need help. Besides, I love a good treasure hunt!" She smirked, "As for why I scared you, I just thought it'd be funny. And I was right! Hehe!"

"Well… we appreciate the help, but please don't do that again…" Yue said.

"I'll think about it." Lina smirked. And with that the group continued on their way.

Kaede looked to Lina for a moment as she walked. '_Well, considering Lina-sensei's power, that should make any traps less of an issue.'_

Lina meanwhile hung back with Negi (who had had a bit of a talk with Asuna regarding the book before the sorceress got there) and Asuna. Lina was staring at the baka ranger with a smirk.

"…What, Lina-sensei?" Asuna asked.

"Oh, just remembering the breast inflation incident…" Lina's smirk grew wider.

"Sh-shut up!" Asuna shouted, blushing.

"Relax Kagurazaka, I'm just teasin' ya!" Lina gave the girl a pat on the back.

SMACK

…Okay, a smack on the back.

"GAH! Lina-sensei!"

"Uh, um…" Negi tried to diffuse the tension, "Oh! Lina-san, you'll use your magic to help protect us, right?"

Asuna gave Negi a confused look. "What? Lina-sensei knows about magic?"

"Yes, she does." Negi affirmed, before looking to Lina for her answer.

"Sure kid, if I can get away with it… but what about you?"

"Um…" Negi blushed in embarrassment a little, "I kind of… sealed my powers for a few days…"

Lina gave Negi a deadpan look and sighed, patting his head, "You've still got a lot to learn, kid… Now c'mon, let's go."

And the group made their way deeper into the confines of Mordor… er, Library Island. Eh, whatever. Danger level's probably about the same, anyway….

**1111**

"AAAAH!" The explorers yelled as a 'boulder' made of books chased them down.

"WHAT THE HELL! I DIDN'T THINK THIS TRAP EVEN _EXISTED_ IN REAL LIFE!" Asuna shouted as she ran.

**1111**

As the girls (and one boy) swam through a lake, they noticed a presence creeping up on them….

It was sharks. Several of them, actually. And they looked hungry.

Cue _Jaws_ theme as everyone swims away in panic.

"WHAT THE CRAP ARE FREAKING _SHARKS_ DOING IN A LIBRARY!" Lina shouted.

**1111**

The group was running yet again. This time it was from a crumbling walkway over a pit of molten lava.

"WHAT KIND OF DERANGED LUNATIC _BUILT_ THIS PLACE, ANYWAY!" It was Makie complaining this time. You could almost hear Akamatsu sneezing as she said this.

**1111**

"(pant) Are we safe yet-aru?" Ku Fei asked as the explorers took a breather in a clearing of sorts.

"(GROWL)" Came a noise from behind Ku Fei.

"… That'd be a no, de-gozaru." Kaede said, blue in the face, as she pointed behind Ku. The Chinese girl turned to find a pack of several rather large wolves right behind her.

"…Aru?…"

"(GROWL)"

Cue running away while screaming bloody murder.

**1111**

The explorers had finally reached a safe spot. No, not a fake one like last time. A real one. As you can imagine, they were quite delighted at this.

'_There better be treasure in here after all the crap we've been through…'_ Lina thought haggardly, very obviously annoyed and desperately wanting to take out her anger on something. The rest of the group wasn't faring much better.

"Why is everything in this (pant) library trying to (wheeze) kill us?" Asuna asked no one in particular.

"I don't know… but I think we're almost there…" Yue said. "Come on everyone, just a little further…"

Everyone rested for a bit longer before once more moving deeper into the confines of the deranged wacky library of doom.

**1111 1111 1111**

_Next time:_

_Golem: HOHOHO!_

_Lina: Ah, crap._

_Negi: We've got to get you girls ready for the exams!_

_Umbra: Inverse isn't getting out of there alive…._

_Lina: Golems giving tests, studying in a crazyass library and monsters out to kill me? To most this would be weird. To me, it's just Wednesday. Or whatever day it is, I haven't really been keeping track. There better be some decent treasure in this god-forsaken library…._

_Lina: Oh yeah, one more thing- You better read it, or I'll really cause some trouble!_ (1)

**1111 1111 1111**

**1111 Omake- Teachers' Lounge Chronicles 1111**

Lina sighed, then drank some coffee. Last night had been WILD. Two of her co-workers, Takane D. Goodman and Sakura Mei, sat beside her at the table in the lounge. Lina wasn't really sure what they did, oddly enough. The redhead figured Takane was a nurse because of that hat she wore and that Sakura was a janitor since she always carried a broom around, but she wasn't really sure.

"So, Lina-san… how long have you been here? About a week, give or take?" Takane asked, glaring a little, "And yet you've destroyed large portions of Mahora's forests _twice_ already. You really should be more careful." Sakura nodded in agreement.

Lina sipped her coffee, not really caring, then said, "Three times, actually."

"What?" Takane questioned, surprised.

"Yeah, it happened last night."

Takane sighed. "What happened this time?"

"Well, you know how Eva always has Chachamaru cook for her?" Lina began.

"Yes?"

"Well, let's just say there's a reason for that." Lina sipped her coffee again, "Seriously, never, EVER, in my entire life, has anyone I've met, and I mean ANYONE, been such a _freaking bad cook_ that the food they made actually _tried to stab me to death._ EVER."

Takane and Sakura stared, wide-eyed. Then Takane queried, incredulously, "…And you had to blow up a large portion of the woods just to get rid of _lousy cooking_?"

Lina nonchalantly took yet another sip of her coffee. "Meh, what can I say. Thing was a bitch to kill."

**1111 Omake End 1111**

**1111 1111 1111 … … …**

And the third exciting episode comes to a close, doods! So what'd y'all think? Good? Bad? Et Cetera? And what of the Omake? Review, doods!

See you all next time!

Notes:

(1) I had to include this sooner or later. Makes for a good shout out to the actual Slayers series, since Lina says this at the end of every preview in Revolution, and maybe Evolution-R as well (I have yet to watch Evolution-R, unfortunately, and have not bothered looking it up on Youtube, and so I'm not sure).


End file.
